yes, that is the perfect way to express it, no? forever and never only that i wa thinking about a whole lot that won't let me sleep, like my outbox... whatever was i thinking to speak to someone so unfitted of my situation, now i'm workig for the soulless ones, huh? i can't give up now, i won't let my pride be hurt once more. why? because without this pride, without this care for myself if i am left alone who will care for me? there is always the possibility and blessed be those that still have dreams of eternity. i still have them, yes, but there is always the fear of course... no matter how much i tell myself everything will be alright always and never: there is the will of denial... no, not everything is alright. and why?

forever: i wish for love everlasting, my ambition and my love for my true friends.

never: there might be an apocalypse in me once more that makes me leave everything forever... and never because i just can't leave and lose this grandious opportunity, i have found someone so dear, and he says forever with that fervent desire that i once had, may i recover it? i have a right to recover myself, i do not wish to roam by myself but... if i have to then so be it.
forever discovering new lands and fighting for no one but myself. never finding true love, never caring for it. those were my choices then and now:

never worrying about this fear any longer and never commiting the same mistakes of the past

forever living with the dark romantic......................
i believe i will take those two last choices